What is Unschooling, Part 1: A Framework of Ideas

Jun 6

Written By Erin

Episode 56: What is Unschooling, Part 1: A Framework of Ideas

Do you ever wonder what unschooling is really about? Or maybe you have a sense of it yourself but wonder how to describe it if asked? This ended up being a very full and nuanced conversation based on the first part of Hayley’s blog post series by the same name. What a joy to speak with Sue Elvis from Stories of an Unschooling Family and reflect about the framework of unschooling in detail based on Hayley’s ideas and our own. We seem to learn as we discuss and think you’ll gain some perspective from this conversation and some fuel for your own realizations.

We Discuss:

That we can’t just consume information about unschooling but need to put ideas into practice to begin to develop an understanding

How our understanding of unschooling evolves and we understand at different levels at different times

Unschooling as something that was simply the way people lived in all parts of the world prior to standardized school systems, not something only invented by John Holt

Varying definitions of unschooling and how they often miss a deeper understanding

How many definitions are reactive and come from the reaction of a schooled society

How our understanding or view of unschooling is naturally connected to how and what we first hear about it

John Holt as an observer of children and their natural learning process rather than a developer of a method such as Charlotte Mason, Maria Montessori and others

Finding our way through pondering, observing and listening to our children rather than going somewhere to get a method such as Charlotte Mason, etc.

People getting tied up in what they perceive unschooling is before they are really ready

The irony of some people who are likely unschooling by most definitions but choose or don’t want to call themselves that versus people who really aren’t unschooling by most definitions but want to be or want to use the word – and not that people can’t use their own definition for themselves but just acknowledging the dynamics of the way people see the label

Unschooling as family living and learning rather than a method or action used to educate children

The unfortunate idea that adults have had to put up with learning a certain way and so now it’s only fair that children do too

That parents don’t need to be the ones who bring in suffering and hard times to build resilience, but rather that as the family, we are the support system during the inevitable suffering of life

That so much about preparing for “real life” is actually preparing for the school system

Thinking of unschooling as a method of homeschooling as a place to start (although often not where we end up)

The attachment parenting to unschooling or homeschooling pipeline, and also the interesting dynamic of choosing school after unschooling

People developing an understanding and patience of what is sometimes a very gradual family process

How removing the idea that we’re right and that everyone should choose homeschooling or unschooling might take some friction out of the conversation and allow us to have a fuller, deeper discussion with people

The role that curriculum does or doesn’t play in the way that learning happens

Explorations of the how we learn – the word “teach,” mentoring, freely choosing to learn something

That not everyone aligns with using a particular term for what they’re doing at a given point

The starts and stops, beginning and quitting and circling back of freely chosen learning for people of all ages

That learning is happening all the time and the way that parents can really come to believe that is by experiencing it once they’ve offered their child the time and space

Whether and how children can learn “school-y”/academic skills such as reading outside of school

The role parents have in introducing our children to things and including them in our lives

Impatience with the pace of child’s skill development

The role of trust or mistrust in a child’s process in the development of their sense of self

The discomfort we sometimes have to sit with to honour our child’s pace when they aren’t doing something on an expected schedule (using a toilet, reading, swimming, etc)

That kids learn because of a need they have, not solely because they are a following a passion

That our child’s learning doesn’t just depend in us.

That parental doubt often comes from a good place of wanting to make sure we’re doing well by our child

The transition into adulthood and the assumptions we have about where we’ll be needed or not needed

Changing identities for parents as children grow up

The value of our own learning, growth and interests

Ideas about trust .. parents trusting children, children trusting parents, parents trusting that life will offer enough richness and interesting opportunities that we don’t have to bring in

That living and learning with our children is a 2-way process between parents and children … we learn through them as well, and it’s often trusting

How the topic of unschooling is so multi-faceted that there seems to be no end to the angles from which it can be explored

That having our kids become adults can unexpectedly be the greatest learning curve of all

How having examples of adult children who fully value themselves and their time can help us as adults to value ourselves more

Being our children’s cheerleaders and what that means

That unschooling requires patience, personal work and the intention to support and encourage even if we’re not initially comfortable — it takes resolve!

That people’s pathways aren’t perfect — there will be failures and missteps and uncertainties — but we are trusting and cheering on through the longer process of life