Homeschooling High School … Spoiled for Choice and Why That’s a Good Thing
When we first began our home education journey, long years stretched out ahead – 10 of them to be exact — before we would reach the high school age. As those who have read my writing or listened to our podcast have likely heard me mention, our province has two full-time years of kindergarten (Junior and Senior) and elementary school goes until the end of Grade 8. When I talk about high school here, I’m referring to the four years from Grade 9-12. The way that shakes out age-wise is that students begin high school in the calendar year that they are turning 14. With a September start, 2/3 will have turned 14 and 1/3 will technically still be 13. I break this down because in having gotten to know families from all over the world, I realize there is a range.
In these very early days of my homeschool journey, I was more or less familiar with two possibilities:
High school curriculum that was linear and sequential (although could be worked through flexibly and enjoyably as I was seeing many families do)
Outside-of-the-box or adventurous living such an apprenticeships or travel.
That was all I really was hearing about in the circles that I was involved in but over time, more options became known to me. It’s hard to know how much is that increasing numbers of options have become available since then and how much is that over time, my radar was just taking in more. Either way, by the time we hit the high school age, I knew of many more options and now there are even more.
Some of these include:
Eclectic resources put together to suit your specific teen
Self-directed learning, pursuing interests and projects of choice
Online school board credits
Online independent school credits
General interest or adult courses – distance learning
General interest or adult courses – in-person
Homeschool or unschool co-ops
Volunteer roles
Citizen or civic opportunities that are not roles or positions per se, but that offer a range of experience
Mentorships
Apprenticeships
Workshops
Democratic schools
Micro-schools
Learning pods with a hired teacher
Learning pods, parent or teen-directed
Book clubs and studies
Main focal points such as elite sports or the arts
Dual enrollment or early college admission
Employment
Travel (family, group or solo)
Entrepreneurship
Physical school – there by choice and as a tool or experience rather than considering school as the only vessel of learning
I’m sure there are others!
And so looking upon this smorgasbord of possibilities (granted that not all places will have all the choices), where is a parent to start?
With your child. Your child who is becoming or may already be a teen.
Not by overwhelming them with all of these possibilities, but with keeping the abundance of options open in your own mind because if you’re not coming from a scarcity mindset, there’s less possibility that you’ll pass that energy to them.
However, I have a caveat …
Something that has been interesting to me is that looking back to the early teenage years, I actually thought I had quite a strong sense of what kind of life each of my kids might pursue. I looked at their friends and had known them long enough that I thought I had a sense for them as well. As much as there are common threads, pretty much everybody has surprised me!
Some kids who I didn’t think would pursue an academic path did. My most academically-inclined child is making his way very well with the least amount of formal education. Decisions around everything from timing of getting a drivers license to getting married to having children to living location have surprised me too. I mean, not entirely because I can certainly see parts of those things woven into their life early on, but the timing and outcomes of things haven’t always been what I would have expected.
So what does that mean then about supporting your child and doing any amount of planning in the high school years? I understand how it could be confusing. “Start with what you know of your child, but also understand it will change.” 😊
Something that is helpful is to keep joy firmly in mind.
One very common piece of experience and advice refers to a teen, thinking about what they would like to do and working backwards to gain any necessary experience or prerequisites. I know this route very well as two of my kids found this to be something that worked well for them.
However …
We can get attached to this idea, maybe because it seems straightforward even though ironically I’m saying it’s “backwards.” ☺️ Maybe it’s comfortable because it still includes some things that are familiar to us: choosing a goal and working toward it, linear steps, quantifiable achievements.
Yet not all young people have a set idea or even want to have a set idea. And for those who do, what an unfortunate thing to spend so much time in the grind of preparing that they lose the time for rest and recreation!
So “working backwards” has been a good thing for us, but we needed to be open to pivoting and keeping an eye to whether certain parts of the process were healthy and serving the greater goal at times. It helped to hold the possibilities out in front of us, not just for “learning” or preparing, but also for all of the things … health, rest, play and recreation, relationships and connections, JOY.
One of the really wonderful things about home education having expanded so much is that there are increasing numbers of opportunities and also increasing numbers of families to network with.
It’s also true that it can feel paralyzing. Whereas secondary school offers a fairly clear path with societally approved academic and vocational paths, complete with guidance counsellors and parent information nights, the home education route requires parents to continue on the DIY road for one last stretch!
Never mind just talking about our child’s joy and rest. What about our own?!
The best tool that I think homeschool parents have always had is each other. In-person or online communities, older parents willing to share, peer parents within homeschool groups to commiserate and celebrate with, blogs, articles, podcasts – all of it is an incredible abundance of experience and perspective.
No mandates, corporate or government partnerships to push particular options … just wide open, authentic brainstorming.
So if you’re brainstorming this stage of life for and with your teen, can I encourage you to keep four things in mind?
1. The flip side of an overwhelming number of options is that there is abundance. There is a buffet to choose from and you and your young person can customize the process to find a road and pace that works for them.
2. Your teen may already be spending their day doing exactly what is right for them right now. There is no need for change simply because the high school years begin at a certain month or year where you live.
3. Time is open and flexible. The four-year model of secondary school is a construct. It has little to do with how learning and development actually happen and may not relate to your teen’s path much at all.
4. Keep joy in mind consistently.
I’ve seen a number of homeschool families (including unschooling ones) white-knuckle their way through these years as if they need to do a total about-face from the years of joyful living and learning prior. There are rarely paths that are so time-sensitive that we can’t stretch them out and include all kinds of interesting things.
And if it’s the teen themself who wants to white-knuckle toward a goal, we can bring in pieces of fun and joy and a presence that lets them know that slowing down, a change or stepping right off the path will be supported by us.
Let’s also celebrate the paths that require no white-knuckling to begin with, but rather a regular life pace that’s joyful and leads to ordinary but calm days.
There’s room for all of it.
If you enjoy discussing these kinds of things or would find it helpful to connect with others about this stage of education, Missy Willis of Let ‘em Go Barefoot and I host a monthly Round Table, Finding our Footing: Being a Conscious Parent of Teens and Young Adults. There’s a different topic each month, many of them related to the teenage years, and we’d love to see you!
Contact us at: findingourfooting2@gmail.com to join our monthly email list with resources and a link to join.
Thoughts?