Life can be expensive. Being a parent can be very expensive! There are some aspects we can’t control but we may have more choice around the amount and way we spend than we think (and admittedly some people may not) and a lot of it is related to our mindset.
Whether we have a limited amount to live on or would just like to live relatively resourcefully, it can be helpful to share ideas. Here are some of mine. They are not budgeting ideas around the basics of clothing, groceries, home and transportation as much as thoughts about living an enriched and abundant life without having to grab hold of every toy, gadget, lesson, pricy admission, trip, event, fast food and so on. They are likely a bit more relevant to families with young children because I’ve gotten a few questions from newer parents about ideas for moving forward on one income or shifting from full-time to part-time work. They are ideas about finding abundance in everyday life and the last one is probably the most important;).
So, here we go…
Mark things, even simple things, on the calendar:
Putting something in writing in a visual place shows its importance. It might be going to see the free sand sculpture showcase at the beach but if it’s on the calendar, it shows a sense of its value and of the value of family time together.
Once we’ve included on our calendar all kinds of interesting, low cost things, we can see the fullness of our lives and also acknowledge how wonderful it is to have the white space on the calendar too! The white space days could have question marks on them so that we all look forward to the question mark days and decide what we’ll do that morning. That way we’re recognizing the abundant possibility in open time as well.
Low cost ideas?
Puppet plays
Library programs
Regular library day each week
Visiting different libraries or branches, either in our own community or other places
Canada Day/or whichever holiday fireworks
Santa Claus or other parades
Sand sculpture showcase at the beach
Monarch butterfly tagging and release at provincial park
Salmon swimming upstream/ salmon jump
Trout swimming upstream
Free annual day at the zoo
Local amateur sports events
Concerts in the park
Playgrounds
Visits to various playgrounds, locally and in different towns or cities we naturally pass through
TV shows and movies enjoyed together
Memberships to zoos, museums, concert series (an initial cost but usually good value spread over time)
Going out for ice cream
Stopping at a chip truck to share a family basket of fries at the picnic table
Create our own meaningful ideas and events.
Invite people to a park day. Invite people apple-picking somewhere where there is a play area. Find out if anyone would like to get together as a group and go Christmas carolling. Set up a toy, book or game- lending exchanges with other interested people. If we’re already going to a community event, let others know where to meet us if they’re interested.
Make things we might do anyway a celebration.
Santa Claus Parade? Put it in the calendar and talk about how we’re going to have hot chocolate and stovetop popcorn when we get home.
Driving back from seeing friends or relatives might be an opportunity to stop and see something on the way home. It can be something simple like a spot that seems like it might be a good lookout or stopping at a neat little shop or museum.
If we’re likely to watch a movie Saturday night and have some snacks, name it as a “movie night” and decide as a group what snacks to have.
Celebrate with food.
We need to eat anyway so saying something like, “We’ll probably be hot and tired after coming back from our hike. Should we make some lemonade up now so that we can look forward to relaxing with it once we come back?” Or, “Should we make each Friday this summer a night to have someone’s favourite food for dinner?”
Consider the age of your children.
There’s no need to go crazy if kids are in the early years…
Young kids marvel at a new slide or sandbox. A newly renovated play or reading space at a library is exciting to go see. A playland at a restaurant is exciting and can be accessed just by buying a small drink or fries. A nature walk with a little bag to collect things (or not), a soccer ball to kick around, making some bubbles at home and testing them out.
Consider best value for your money.
Major travel and even things amusement parks, etc are often better enjoyed and appreciated as kids get older and if it’s not manageable even then, everyone will be fine. Life is still full of good stuff.
It’s exciting to become a parent and we want to do “all of the things.” There are a few things we did when the kids were very little that, in hindsight, were more expensive and labour- intensive than they needed to be given the kids’ ages and capacity to appreciate. Some of the best memories we have are actually from simpler places.
Camping is a low cost way to either travel or have a getaway. National or provincial parks typically have family programs and events, nature or exploration centres, beaches, boardwalks, hiking trails and all sorts of space to move and explore. Private campgrounds often have activities, events, wagon rides, group meals, beaches or pools, games and more.
A “stay- cation” might be a fun alternative. We’ve never formally planned one but I imagine it would fun. We have had times during either winter storms or heat waves that we’ve decided to just stay put and they have been really good times. If you were planning one ahead of time, you could come up with a menu, movies, games, all kinds of stuff to look forward to.
Be available to support kids in earning their own money. At the age of eight, our oldest son desperately wanted to take over the paper route that had just become available. He was two years too young but convinced me to “co-sign” ( his words) with him and we did the route together under my name until he was ten. He then took it over under his own name, took on a second route at eleven and over time, his younger brother worked into those two routes as well and eventually took the original one over when my oldest son moved on to other work. We have had that original route within our family now for twelve years. We are nearing the end with it but it has afforded the kids a great chance to develop customer service skills, commitment, endurance in the face of all kinds of weather (and pets) and the ability to save, spend and give.
Many of the things that other parents pay for such as video games, cell phones, laptops, our kids were able to purchase on their own. We strongly supported their paper routes in both practical and logistical ways but it has been worth it to see the positive impact it’s had on their sense of money.
Be open to opportunity.
All kinds of opportunities present themselves. It might be a material opportunity such as someone passing something great (or at least interesting🙂) onto our family. It could come in the form of an incredible sale for something that would be of real value to our family. It could be an opportunity to do something such as extra tickets to a concert or an invitation to stay at someone’s cottage. It could be an unexpectedly perfect day for tobogganing. It could be something that a family member suggests might be fun. We need to leave enough open space in our week to be able to do those things.
Recently, S had been bowling with friends and said he’d like to go again, this time with the rest of us. In the moment he mentioned it, I had an immediate thought that we didn’t have time. In pausing for a minute, I realized that we did. So, within a very few days, we went. If we don’t overdo it by overbooking and spending on things WE think the kids will like ahead of time, time and money is more available when they have ideas of things THEY actually want to do.
Remember that most things we are involved in bring both additional opportunities and costs. My daughter’s choir costs aren’t finished once we’ve paid the registration fee. There are camp workshop weekends, potlucks, Christmas gift exchanges and more.
If we leave enough margin in regard to both time and money for these events, we’re less likely to be caught off guard AND they are opportunities in and of themselves. How many times have we (and by this, I literally mean myself and my own family) rushed back from a day trip to somewhere expensive like an aquarium to quickly grab a gift for a Christmas gift exchange that evening? Answer: more than a few times. Another option would be to recognize that the Christmas party and gift exchange IS the event for the day. That allows time to find and make a new recipe for the potluck rather than just quickly putting together the familiar. It also gives us a chance to choose a gift for the exchange much more thoughtfully.
Being part of a church might involve opportunities to do everything from buying items for care packages, to stocking backpacks to give to kids, to helping contribute to food bank baskets and Christmas hampers. These are both expenses and opportunities. You could be part of a group putting things together or plan a time to make or buy things to put together a basket. Again, if we leave time and money available for these, they ARE the activity for that day.
Cultivate an attitude of abundance within our family.
There is wonder everywhere. We can be thankful for all that we do have.
We can say out loud what a great day it’s been for a hike, how blessed we are to have a library with so many materials we can choose from, how much fun the community parade was and how hard everyone must have worked to put their floats together, etc, how fantastic the fireworks were and find out which colours and style everyone liked best.
If we set ourselves up to live relatively simply to begin with (house, material belongings, activities, travel), it is so much easier to continue and for everyone to operate from a sense of abundance and gratitude rather than expectation and entitlement.
We can try not to carry on about “not having” when we are frustrated about not being able to buy something. I have no hard research here, but life experience has shown me (and I’m generalizing a bit but not hugely) that while people who grow up with a great number of material items and higher end lifestyle can develop a sense of entitlement as adults, people who grow up without enough can have a tendency to operate from a place of scarcity so that when they do have money, there is almost a sense of either hoarding and spending nothing OR becoming a quick and careless spender. I have to believe that if money is talked about only here and there, in practical ways, rather than seen as something that is either the main focus of happiness on one hand or unattainable on the other, kids will develop a more moderate view.
Maybe most importantly, we can cultivate an attitude of abundance within ourselves.
It is very easy to look around at all the stuff and feel we need – the toys, books, electronics, trips, perfect house, new vehicles, the convenience of fast food and quick entertainment.
We can probably have some of these things but we don’t need it all and we don’t need it all right away. And our kids don’t either.
If we have the basics, we have enough. We have more than many people in the world. Additional stuff is gravy and with some resourcefulness and openness to opportunity, we’ll get some gravy but we don’t have to be swimming in it to live a good life. It might even bog us down!
We just need to find our “enough” and we might be surprised what other blessings follow.
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Yes! Especially this time of year, with so many ads and flyers around, not to mention just coming off of Black Friday. It feels like there is soooo much to buy and do. Great reminder!
There’s definitely lots of marketing coming our way this time of year and it’s fun to buy presents and do some neat things but yes, it can feel like a a lot.
Thanks Liz!